Go Fund Me ?



So far the magazine site isn’t actually getting any hits… or donations.

I guess I’ll give it until Friday and if there’s nothing I’ll pull the plug on my Women’s Surf magazine gofundme site but not the idea of it.

I am bummed but nothing will shake this idea from me.


Scared to ask

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I’m scared to ask how and when I’ll die. Even more terrified of the answer. Strange– because I come off to people as brave.

I’m scared to ask how I’ve wasted my time. On who? What were my options? What would have been the best choice?

I’m scared to ask am I’m living up to my potential? Am I chipping away at my character for the sake of pleasing people? Which is truly more frightening: success or failure? Why have I opted to fail, to stop so many times? Why can’t I stick to something?  Above all, why am I more dedicated to others and their causes than to my own?

When will I uncover my purpose?

When will I make time to listen to the depths of my mind? The faintest whisperings of my heart?



I Loved MY Crappy Shift Today

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Full Bar


I can’t lie. I’m not exactly into soccer. Going to a game? AWESOME! Watching one on tv? Ehhh.

None of that matters much though because I’m waitressing at a sports bar for the whole thing. I don’t get to watch a lot of the game… or any of it. However I do get to meet amazing people! I met a few Brits who were a little reserved at first but by the end of the night I had taught them the basics of baseball and was navigating them through the rest of their time in Santa Cruz.

Today was a shit show to say the least but the customers didn’t care too much. It was obvious we were over packed (the photos are pre-chaos). There was no seating, all of the standing space was taken by even more seats or people desperate enough to spend 3 hours on their feet. I couldn’t take a step with out bumping into some one. Imagine carrying a tray of beers through a mosh pit… that was my life. Every time England or Italy scored People jumped up, drunk and unaware of their body parts be flung about–  right in to a beer.

Pre Patio Chaos

Pre Patio Chaos

It got to the point where I felt like I was on some crazy ass roller coaster and just wanted it to come to a stop… but it kept going. Finally it came to a chair scraping, people rushing out the doors halt after Italy won 2-1.

Before the chaos ensued I had sat a lovely couple. They ended up being journalists and I don’t think anything could have made working today more worth it and exciting than that. They gave me their cards and told me to contact them because of course I had mentioned I also love to write and am studying journalism.




Go Fund Me – Women’s Surf Magazine


So I did it. I started a go fund me account to finance starting an online and print Surf magazine for women. I feel nervous and overwhelmed because I know that, well I took on a huge load. At the same time I am beyond excited!

After a whole day thinking and pros and cons I decided it was best to start something huge like this with just one focus point. One sport. After researching more women’s sports magazines I saw a few that look at all female athletes and I knew that wasn’t for me. The idea hit me because I’ve always been drawn to the Ocean, to surfing and because of that I think I saw how down played women surfers are. So when the idea hit me it was mostly to bring awareness to these women. To inspire the younger surfers to not be just sex symbols in a mans surf magazine but show the world what they’re made of, their real talent and struggles.

Their stories.

I have a big to do list:

  • Gather information on the whereabouts of International Pro female surfers as well as State level Pro’s.
  • Check out dates, locations and times of women’s surf competitions.
  • Call, email, Facebook, twitter female surfers *Repeat*.
  • Come up with a media kit to present to potential sponsors.
  • Contact surf brands and ask for donations and sponsorship and ads.
  • Set up interviews with surfers.
  • Build website.
  • Hire some one to help me gather content and edit website on the daily as well as help with promoting and social media
  • Contact Hearst Magazines about publishing a women’s monthly surf magazine.
  • Travel to the surf heats- interview- record- write-update website
  • Get a more reliable vehicle so that traveling around doesn’t risk my 1990 legend kahpooting on me.
  • Collect stories from guys/ of guys (more specifically male surfers) who support female surfers

It would be the greatest compliment if you shared my link to help me make this idea (dream) into a reality!!!!!!





20 Somethings- The One You Want

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Dear 20 Something,

You want someone who inspires you to be the same you that you are when you’re alone. The you that loves dancing in the kitchen wearing last nights sweats- or singing way off-key in the car so loud the car next to you can hear every awful note. Even the you that burns your dinner twice and then orders pizza because there’s no way in hell you’re trying one last time.

You want someone who makes you want to be better because you constantly watch them shower people with compliments and they pull generosity out of their pockets for people they just met. You want someone who encourages you to pursue your dreams, a person that leaves you notes on napkins and sends you reminders of the little victories you’ve had.

You want someone who makes you laugh so hard you cry. And the only times you cry will be because they’re hurt and what hurts them hurts you. You want someone who teaches you to look beyond yourself, that shows you how to love others but still love yourself.

You want that one person that in a crowded room only has eyes for you and you can feel their warmth across the room but they don’t feel the need to sweep past every one and hang all over you. You want someone who can enjoy your independence as well as your time together.

You want someone who loves the same adventures you do. From tossing your board in the water and paddling out in to the waves, to throwing your board on to fresh powder and crushing a path to the bottom of the mountain, or maybe your type of adventure is getting lost in a book or going around the board collecting money and trying to not go directly to jail. Whatever your adventure is you want someone who is always up for it.

You want someone who will argue with you but kiss you when it’s all said and done. Someone that uses reason even through their passion and can listen and communicate with out it becoming exhausting. You want someone who might need a few minutes to compose themselves after an argument but will come back with a pint of ice cream and Nerf guns, because every fight should end with a smile and chasing each other around until you find yourselves in a frenzy of passion.

You want someone who only tells you a lie if it’s white. Someone who you can trust as far and deep as the last galaxy.

You want someone who loves you just as much as you love them.

When you find that person, that some one….

be everything that you want them to be and more.

                                                           It takes being selfless to find true love.




Journal Excerpts

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You’re not who I thought you were.
You’re so much more than I can take.

2. You are the moon among my stars.

I have no fight left in me.
All my tears for you have dried.
I would have done anything for you.
But I’m forcing my feet to move.
This has to be goodbye.

Laure Lissette


Beating the Crap Out of Ourselves

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Beating the Crap Out of Ourselves

After I wrote that title, I paused and wondered if I needed to write anything more. Beating ourselves up is such a familiar experience that I think we all so get, there’s nothing more for me to say. But I will ;). – Jason Garner 

Alright my blogging friends I was asked to help promote this guys blog and upcoming book. Bare with me. So in order to really promote it I had to actually read what he’s writing. After all I don’t want to associate myself with some one that’s a jerk or writes things I don’t believe in or agree with. That all being said Jason is pretty hilarious. 

I actually like reading his blog posts and I for sure thought I wasn’t going to. My professor asked me to do it and at first I thought worse case scenario he’ll at least give me extra credit. He gave me a little of Jason’s story. Which I can some what relate to. He started out poor as dirt and with just a mom to raise him. Worked really hard (this is where what we have in common ends…starting with the next part of the sentence) and eventually made it to the millionaires club by being a producer of people like Madonna and also a CEO of some Fortune 500 corp. Than BAM his mom dies and his whole outlook on life changes. 

Anyways this specific post of his caught my attention right away and I thought that maybe a few of you could use reading it today. I hope you’re encouraged! 


Creative Oppurtunities




I would love to start a magazine or something for women based on women that inspire us. At first I only focused on women surfers because I feel like they’re the most down played (besides cheerleaders) and used instead mostly as sex symbols. Having worked in a surf shop and learning just what goes on during heats, well it pisses me off. Did you know that most of the good sets at an event are given to the guys, even if its time for the girls to paddle out they will actually cut off the girls and let the guys shred the waves. When the waves get smaller or if the guys rounds have ended the girls get the leftovers. How frustrating is that?

Anyways that was the basis for this concept. I googled around and saw that there are 2 online magazines and maybe 3 printed magazines (one which comes from Surfer Magazine but only quarterly). That my girl friends started telling me that I should do it for all women’s sports. I considered it heavily but after looking around on the web today decided that it’s too big of a job for me plus in all honesty I don’t care enough about women who golf or run or play basketball. I do like the surfers, volleyball players, snowboarders, gymnasts, cheerleaders and heck, even the runners but I don’t want to have to keep up with so many sports! So that idea is on pause for now.

Than I thought about Cosmo’s (Cosmopolitan Magazine) beat called “So You Think You Want My Job”. Pretty good stuff and always inspiring. I got to thinking that would be cool to do for my school paper. Find amazing women to interview about their jobs and how they got there. What they like and don’t like. Pretty cool stuff.

Also I have sent my resume in to Roxy (Quiksilver) to see if they’ll hire me as a visual merchandiser for the store or even an assistant buyer. Cross your fingers for me/ with me!



What I’ve Been Up To

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Time at the beach getting tan and playing with friends… after school was finally done   Starbucks Summer

Went to Opening Day for the SF Giants with the Best. THEY ARE KILLING IT, but sadly they lost the game we went to.

Giants Game with Best

I don’t know why I never really drank socially but a guy that came in to my bar changed my life in a few ways and showed me how fun drinking at bars and breweries is. *Responsibly*                                                                                  Beer 30- New Beer Garden

So last weekend I also got to try it on the O’Neill Surf Shop yacht. They hosted Discretion Brewery and the best part is that it only cost me $10 instead of the $40! Thanks to a few friends 🙂

O'Neill Yacht & Discretion Breweryoh yeah and I chopped off all of my hair! Cried the first night (where no one could witness the breakdown).

My New Short Hair

Wanted to make sure I looked at my dreams and goals every day for motivation so I made an empty frame into a collage to form my mantra.


 At school I was voted in to the spot of Features Editor with another student. That student ended up being dropped from the class. It was hard work to do the layout as well as edit everyone’s article and have to write my piece but I loved every second of it. I can’t wait to do it all again in Fall!Editor

I also went to Santa Monica with my roomy Val for 4 hours. It was an awesome day trip, 6 hours to Santa Monica, 4 hours there and then 6 hours back. Originally we went for an interview for her but it ended up becoming a great road trip as well. We played on the beach for a whopping 15 minutes!santa monica

There’s a lot more. Like the fact that since school is over I’m doing some PR & Marketing for my professor and a friend of his. I may or may not get a job with Roxy. I started reading a fantastic series that started with The Name of the Wind (a must read for all of your Harry Potter & Lord of the Rings fans). I met a really handsome guy who taught me a few things and reminded me of a few things but I’ll save that story for another post. Just know that it was brief. Now I’m getting antsy and wanting to move somewhere or fly somewhere. My soul has been shaken and now is back to being restless and the only thing that ever makes the storm calm is jumping on a plane or hopping in a car.

I have missed reading all of your stories but can’t wait to see what has gone on in your lives!