A lot of us young women fall head over heels with some one who flat out does not deserve us. You might be thinking, “Oh shit, she nailed it.” Awkward cough. Ahem. Maybe because I have been in that predicament at least 3 times. Oh yea. I’m a huge fan of chasing a bad boy; Hoping I can change him. By “change him” I mean coerce him in to loving me, because after all that’s ultimately what we are not getting; love. We can entice him into hanging out with us, cuddling with us and getting between the sheets… but his heart is far from us.
We all know when it is happening. Our friends half heartedly support it or not at all. They’ll say things like “He’s a great guy but he’s bad for you,” or “He’s a dick. Why do you hang around? You are too good for him.” That is when our defense kicks in. We bring up things lover boy said that support the reasons for our hope. When our friends still insist he isn’t mr. right we chalk it up to the fact that our friends just don’t understand. They don’t see the little things he does… blah blah blah. Fact is we need to snap out of it. Consider this for a moment… what do you deserve? No, really; be totally honest with yourself.
Let me help you out. You deserve the good guy. The one that looks totally boring because he’ll be at your beck and call; there is no chase. He will give you flowers for no reason and you didn’t have to do one damn thing to earn his love. All you had to do was be yourself. Want to know what is not so boring about this guy? You can run and jump on him and he wont yell at you because you interrupted his football game. You can call him 3 times a day for random little stories and he’ll be stoked each time. Fights are minimal and yes, you are right; that is what makes half of this bad boy thing exciting… the emotions. The highs and lows, like a thunder storm you can see the passion. But eventually that thunder storm passes and you are left in the rain.
What I am getting at is that putting the notion of the bad boy away and embracing the good guy is a right of passage into womanhood. When we realize our value we understand that the bad boy will always be a bad boy no matter what, even more so the more we chase him. If we rise to the occasion and walk away more often then not (if he felt anything) he will start his own rite of passage into manhood and fight for us. He’ll turn into that good guy for the girl he falls in love with. Let him decide if it is you by giving him space. Make yourself the mystery, don’t give it all away.