A BMW Convertible? Tom gave me that with a basket of random items from his house. Pop-Tarts? Check. Ketchup? Ya know, just in case I ever ran out. I always told Tom that all a girl needed was a Beamer. He cracked me up when he drove two hours to drop off one that I could fit in my hand.
Don bought a train ticket from Alaska to Florida. I was 18 and had only talked to him via the internet. Turns out Don was not a creeper but I still got cold feet and ended up making up some fabrication to escape an in person encounter. I still wonder what could have happened but not enough to keep me awake at night.
A box sent from New Jersey that had my favorite chocolates, brand new journal, gift card to B&N, two trucker hats (one for me and my best friend), a gift card to Hollister and a Soccer Ball? As if that wasn’t enough; a free trip to the Atlanta Aquarium. What a ticket for my best friend too??? That was Sam, he even flew out from New Jersey to spend a few days with me. Until I broke his heart, I don’t even think I kissed him. He is one of the best guys I’ve ever met though.
Stephen was a little different… put a little more thought in to it. We always joked about what a real man does or would do. One day I suggested a real man could figure out a way to get a girl ,who was stuck in the South, a Jamba Juice. The next day I opened up a box from New Mexico. At first I was shocked when I pulled out a cooler that was, well, cold. A grin spread across my face slowly…no way. Sure enough he had purchased a Keva* Juice, somehow got a hold of dry ice and sent it over night to my house in Atlanta. Damn, that is a real man. Needless to say dear old Stephen is now a happily married man.
Now I’m sitting here looking back at what a guy will do when he likes a girl. To what extreme he will go to show her that she’s it. I’m trying to remember how independent I was. Did they have a hard time trying to reach me? I didn’t have a cell phone attached to me like an appendage back then. Did my life revolve around every text, missed call, Facebook* message, Instagram or Vine that was attached to their name? Um, no. If they wanted to get a hold of me they would have to really get my attention. I was too focused on what my girls were doing, what river we were going to grace with our presence, or what trouble Rachi* and I could come up with (this usually involved guys). So if at 18 I didn’t care, why now at 26 do I care? Is it from past hurts, the fact that my biological clock is ticking, or the fact that being lonely isn’t as fun as it was?
I’m assuming the last is the likely villan. What will I do? I will learn a lesson from my 18-year-old self. What are my girls doing? What fun things have I sacrificed so that I could be available? What grabs my attention? I’ll say no just to wield my power like I used to. And not in a bitchy way…just because I’ve said yes for too long and quite frankly I’m done being an ass kisser.
Your Beachin gal,
*Keva Juice: Pretty much Jamba for those who reside in Albuquerque
*Facebook: Who am I fooling? Myspace was the online hangout.